Alright alright, it doesn't take a psychic to know that many of you readers may have some pre-determined questions for myself as a writer and blogger. Well I'm going to go ahead and use my redundant clairvoyance to answer some of these questions for you, thus saving you the time of actually asking them. *Ahem*
Question 1: Who the hell are you?
Well to answer that my dear reader, I am a simple gaming nerd with an abundance of entertainment systems and free time. I like to review games (specifically within the survival horror genre) for my friends and co-workers as pretty much everyone in my life is addicted to gaming like George Micheal is to crack. Some unwitting victim along the way has allowed me to access the internet freely and I am stretching out my hypothetical net-legs.
Question 2: What makes you someone I should listen to about Gaming?
Ah, well when I was growing up I had parents who sought to limit my access to digital media for fear of me going completely insane with digital power. A half an hour a day total for video games, internet use, and television screen time. To a young member of our digital age this was very upsetting, so every waking moment my parents had their eyes blinked shut I was absorbing as much of the gaming world as humanly possible. To say the least, my parents only found three of my hidden Gameboys(On that note, five of them are still buried somewhere on the 10 Acres of land I once resided in NJ).
Question 3: The crap is a Breaded Lightbulb?
The details are still a bit sketchy on that. All I remember was a nautical journey machine named Geoffrey and some bitch named Jennifer depriving me of sleep borat-style. Before I passed out I muttered the saving phrase "Breaded Lightbulb" and I awoke once more in my odd, yet familiar world.
Question 4: What's with all the zombie quotes, references, and all around worship?
Like many gamers of my time, I have become immersed in the world of zombies. I've killed so many zombies in games that the line between real and virtual fear and hatred has become blurred. Many people have ways to relieve stress, mine just happens to involve the repeated mass slaughter of the undead.
Question 5: Why the lack of PS3 game reviews?
Well, I am a poor man. A poor, poor, near homeless vagabond who lives solely to scare the living shit out of himself with video games. A PS3 could very well be within my price range if I didn't spend so much money on games for the PC and Xbox, and the gas to obtain said games from the store. This is not to say I don't review any PS3 games, as I have friends that have real jobs and can afford such a system.
Question 6: Whats with the really ambiguous answer to "What the crap is a breaded lightbulb"?
I can't talk about it openly on the internet. Jennifer will find me. ...My GOD Jennifer could be hidden in this very galaxy as we speak, although if she were it would be behind Jupiter because that is the only thing large enough to conceal her.
Question 7: What made you want to make a blog about something that everyone and their grandmothers hideous cat has already tried?
Curses, you're on to me! UH, KITTY GOES MEOW.
...Also: I. Might. Make. Money.
So that about wraps it up for my first Q&A. Just to give you an idea, each blog post I make will review two games and most likely have some sad, no-life story that relates me to it. Subscribe and follow if you're interested in any updates I post, and happy gaming!
-Tokyo
